Each of these reads like an extremely horny and angry man yelling their basest desires at Pornhub’s search function.
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Why learn to fuck people when you can just buy The Wanker 9000™?
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Better wait for the 9001, you don’t want to be a first adopter on this sort of thing.
Instructions unclear, dick stuck in toaster.
Send help.
Just flip the switch
“We’re sorry to announce a product recall due to a low to moderate chance of your device performing an unexpected castration.”