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Condoms don’t work for everyone’s body.
Edit: to be clear I’m saying it’s not that simple. There should be more options for anyone with a penis to be able to handle this important implication of having sex. For anyone in general, more options are always good.
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I know you’re joking but there are size restrictions on condoms in the US where I live, so no they don’t.
Edit: also, body shaming is gross.