The year is 2030, and you are on your way to meet a friend for a meal.

I don’t eat out

You receive a message notification on WhatsApp

I don’t use any of DARPA Lifelog Facebook Meta disservices.

which was sent by your friend using her Signal messaging app

I don’t have friends. And DEFINITELY not girls. (I use Arch btw)

You choose an app because you like the way it looks

I think I just vomited a little bit in my mouth

You look at reviews produced by people you follow

I don’t “follow” people and never will.