Someone should invent an e-meter that’s ten times as accurate.
ETA: That might just be a biofeedback device.
It’s hard to define concepts like “accuracy” when the basic claim is that the gadget can count the evil dead alien ghosts living in your head to hassle you.
I might have a solution, just hear me out… what if they just folded their phony religion and left everyone alone? See? Everyone wins!
Fuck scientology, but honestly, props to Ron. It takes a significant amount of rizz and a good lack of fucks to go from being quoted on how lucrative it would be to start a religion while he was a well known science fiction author, only to make a religion and gain untold wealth.
I mean it’s one thing to grift an idiot, but when you tell them to their face that you’re going to grift them who’s fault is it really?
Problem is when you start grifting kids. They can’t exactly consent. Same issue with any religion/grift really. If it’s aimed at a child it’s abuse.
“Repairing” as in “noticing they don’t actually do anything beside measuring resistance like any common multimeter from the DIY shop”
Do they even measure resistance? Hold the probes on a multimeter. Tell me how much resistance you’re measuring. With my MM I’m registering microohms.
When I first read about this stuff, it said they were just really sensitive EKG machines. Literally just measuring your pulse.
… Do you mean you’re measuring megaohms (M) across your body? Or microohms (u) between probes directly? Or milliohms (m)?
I’ve wet my finger and measured like 30kOhms across a half inch of skin or so. And if you get into your bloodstream, the salty liquid has very low resistance BUT BUT BUT this will kill you if the probe paths across your heart
That just goes to show how important proper training is. Without the right scientology certifications you have no idea how many evil alien ghosts living in your soul those microohms indicate!
Out of curiosity, has there ever been a teardown of one of these to see what kind of snake oil actually powers them?
The first version was actually patented, so we know how that one worked fully. The latest versions are secretive but they still likely measure the same thing.
https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/E-Meter/hubbard-patent.html
Midichlorians?
Prion disease.
The scions of prions? Lucky pions!
Hey Shakespeare did it, so it can’t be wrong.
Sadly midichlorians make sense compared to episodes 7, 8 and 9.
My headcanon is that they’re a bacteria that feeds on the force rather than that they control the force. They need a host so that’s why you find lots of them in force sensitive people.
My head cannon is just that they’re attracted to beings that can manipulate the force
They don’t give any powers. But the more you have the higher your latent abilities are and they can just sense that
Or given that the device’s purpose is to be a prop for psychological manipulation, the current ones might, rather than simply reading out skin resistance, produce some other value more conducive to that purpose. I’m which case, dumping and disassembling the firmware would be as much a threat to Scientology as dumping slot machine firmware would be to casinos and gambling firms. (True story: someone once did this with a slot machine, proving that it was rigged.)
Can anyone translate this into Dummy please? What is it doing, according to that patent?
It’s like a voltmeter set to resistance mode. It can detect small changes in electrical energy and show that change on a meter that moves right for higher resistance, and left for lower resistance. In other words, it’s a bunch o’ bull crap.
So it’s a lie detector? Lol
I think it’s just a human detector. Or an anything that touches both contacts detector
Yes. And just as meaningful as one. (aka not)
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Taking it as an abstract, I could see how that would be an incredible tool for building a cohesive unit of people.
I’ve read the Dianetics book because when I was a kid I would see the ads and I was like oh that’s interesting and then I found a copy out of thrift store.
Dianetics offers you you know your maximum human mental potential and freedom from all of your psychosomatic and psychological illnesses. No anxiety, no schizophrenia, no bipolar disorder, no lying to yourself about anything.
And on the surface that seems good but you know obviously if it were actually capable of unlocking human potential it would now be standard course in American education.
But you put all of that aside and think about it from a different angle, and what you have is a machine that measures anxiety and a person you’re telling all of your deepest darkest secrets and fears to, and you repeat the Dianetics process until you have told every single thing that you can think of about your entire life to another person.
And at that point, you’re no longer anxious around that person, so the e-meter says that you have reached “clear”.
Now you’re surrounded with people who know all of your deepest darkest secrets and fears and completely and totally accept you as long as you adhere to their society’s rules.
It’s very fascinating, I couldn’t imagine a better way to build a cult than with a system like that.
It’s measuring resistance, just like a multimeter can. Basically, it’s measuring how “difficult” it is for electricity to reach from A to B. High quality wire will have low resistance, while something like rubber has a very high resistance. This is basically just measuring resistance and moving a needle back and forth on a meter. It’s an Electrical Engineering 101 class project.
Isn’t there a name for bullshit devices that produce some ouput that has no bearing on what is being tested? Like that device Dee and Charlie use when they are in the superberry MLM on Sunny in Philadelphia. Like, its snake oil but I thought there was a word for that kind of thing.
I don’t know about one word, but generally I’ve heard “quack medical device” used to describe such things.
Like a polygraph I guess but slightly seedier
What do you mean? That machine measured stress very accurately and displayed it in standard stress units
My biggest issue was the lack of clarity over where one should place their feet. Kinda important
What makes certain people have different measurements? I assume that’s what they’re after in the cult to determine who goes where
Our skin layer is about the worst conductor of our bodies but if you have wet salty skin you’ll show a higher reading. Maybe that’s all the data they need. Maybe they’re onto something
This goes a step further though.
Because they are questioning you while “on the cans”, your skin’s electrical conductivity will change naturally even if being completely honest. These momentary blips will cause the person conducting the interview to ask you more personal, more intimate questions, with the goal of you over sharing.
Basically they use the flawed technology that is the lie detector and based an entire religion around it.
Honestly not a bad idea, if I’m being completely honest and devoid of human empathy.
Although you do realize that technically, if their new versions are not patented then they are considered trade secrets right? If you can get your hands on one and patent it then you have a decent pathway to sue the Church of Scientology for patent infringement.
That would be a fun one to work out
They could get your patent invalidated if they can demonstrate you copied them
wouldnt that force them to admit the public patent and all its details are a copy? thus confirming exactly how the device works…and isnt that something they dont want?
I like that fundamental misunderstandings of how the law works can still be found on this website, was my favorite part of reddit
They would still have to pay an inordinate amount of money in legal fees fighting it, and if they invalidate the patent then the publication would go public domain.
I imagine whoever tries gets sued into oblivion faster than John Deere with a farmer fixing his tractor
I say 2 AA batteries
Given the era, I would suspect more like a single 9 volt battery.
Yes. Guy on Reddit a few years ago stole one out of a tent where they were giving free readings and did a full tear down. It’s a cheap Chinese ohm meter with a few extra circuits added for fancy dials and lights. It’s basically a movie prop.
Edit: of course it was part of the purge: https://www.reddit.com/r/electronics/comments/8zrlav/detailed_teardown_of_a_scientology_emeter_high/?rdt=44960
Damn I would have loved to see that.
I found this
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/KGBPn9arfVo
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Not the onion
Zenu forbid everyone finds out their off-the-shelf multimeter from the 70s is just as special and important as their beliefs (not at all).
When Scientology is your ally… You’re on the bad track
It occurs to me the CoS doesn’t need a state law preventing outside sources from repairing their gizmos. An intra-church policy will do just fine.
Similarly the Catholic Church doesnt need to impose a state law against third parties making Uriel’s®️ Heavy Duty Double-Divine Holy Water for demon huntering and exorcism when an internal ruling will do as well. The same for Uriel’s Fastin-EZ quick-transubstantiation communion wafers (available also in chocolate, mint and sweetcream flavors!).
There is a group offering CoS-equivalent services free of charge as a bit of a challenge to it (CoS Lite, CoS Methadone). They do so by acquiring these devices second-hand and I guess maintaining them is needed and the CoS wants to limit their impact by limiting their right to repair the devices.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=iXA0aK73VA8
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.
